Dr. Razrazhatsya's laboratory is impossible to miss. The walls of the hallway leading to it are plastered with warning signs for the janitorial staff and the general public, warning against anyone bringing in liquids, metallic objects, or, of all things, shellfish allergies. Just in front of the door itself, someone has scrawled ABANDON ALL HOPE YE ( Read more... )

"Okay," says Artie. "Explain it to me one more time, so that I can confirm that I'm not hallucinating this whole incident. You want to do what?"

"Break into the laboratory of a mad cosmologist at Columbia University," says the holographic image of Dave Davenport. (Artie doesn't know where it's being projected from. If he did, the projector would ( Read more... )

"Alright, Janessa, it's an hour past closing time, I'm going to have to ask that you leave so I can finish cleaning up."

"Aw, c'mon, man, I'm almost done with this paper--"

"You've been playing solitaire for the last forty minutes. Out ( Read more... )

"Why are we just finding out about this now??" says a Dave, waving the offending piece of paper in the air. "We're the goddamn Conspiracy! Why don't we have people taking care of this stuff?"

"Yeah, don't we have an Extraordinary Threats thingy too?" says another Dave.

"No, we have a Vague Threats Committee," replies yet another Dave. "They're ( Read more... )